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How to Find Apartments : Landlord Lingo from CraigsList

November 30, 2007

This one is really good. The other day I was looking for apartments in San Francisco on Craigs list. Of course I see a post that looks to good to be a true and I click on it. To my surprise it was a fake posting, but whoever wrote it was nice enough to outline keywords used in selling apartments and what landlords really mean when they use them.

I posted them below, I wish I could give credit to whoever wrote them, but I haven’t heard back from him/her yet.

For those novices who don’t yet know about finding an apartment in the wilds of San Francisco I offer a short listing of vocabulary words for dealing with landlords.

JUNIOR 1 BEDROOM: You’ll sleep in the closet.

QUAINT: Less than 400 square feet

CLEAN: There is nothing else nice to say about the place.

FREE RENT SPECIAL: Your rent will be raised next year.

CUTE: Tacky

COZY: Less that 300 Square Feet

SECURE: Dangerous Neighborhood, but what the hell! There’s a deadbolt on the front door.

ADORABLE: Tacky

UNIQUE: Really Tacky

HUGE: You can stand up without hitting your head on the roof.

MODERN: Square and really ugly.

NEW: Overpriced

STYLISH: Loud

CONVENIENT: Boring

CHEAP: Dangerous

This is just a minimal introduction to how to understand the landlord. There are, of course, other psycological, economic, and cultural aspects involved in determining what a landlord is really thinking or doing. If you are determined, though, you will begin to understand what the Landlord is communicating. While it may be confusing at first, learning the vocabulary of a landlord will save you time, money, and heartache. Happy Househunting!!!!

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